But first, introductions: Julia

Being the anxiety-ridden introvert that I am, I have always been daunted by the task of describing myself. Each time I’ve been asked, I’d have trouble coming up with anything to say, as if my mind empties completely every time a spotlight hits me. And even if I did manage to find the words, there would be a voice in the back of my head that would berate me for being bland and uninteresting. 

Through the years, I tried to force myself through my own discomfort, and while I still have some ways to go, I take pride in the fact that I’ve shed a lot of the shits that I would’ve given as the quivering prepubescent girl that I was, so unwilling to open herself up. That growth, as well as my love for the written word, is partially why I was drawn to this joint venture—to find a new means of breaking myself in even further and hesitating less about putting myself out into the world. 

Though the thought of talking into the void that is the Internet is still unnerving to me, I genuinely hope that some of my ramblings may find you at least a little bit entertained. So, without further unnecessary build up, here’s a peek at who I am and how I style myself.

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Of stories and daydreams

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved to think up stories. I’d imagine animals, both real and fantastical, floating all around me as I walked. I’d imagine scenarios in my head as I watched scenery pass by through the car window. As I grew, I came to realize, however, that my favorite stories were often those that were just a tiny bit odd, and so I begun to write that way—a teenage grim reaper collecting souls in a Chryssler, a world of bizarre dreams ruled by bored Bogeymen, a strange student accidentally undergoing a summoning. 

Of course, these were stories I’d drafted and kept for only my own indulgence, but this love for darker themes had definitely seeped through to the books and anime and films that I hold dear to me.  I enjoyed things that appeared more grim, things that had a drier, more sarcastic sense of humor, and things with a subtle tongue-in-cheek tonality that was just a little more off-putting than it should be.

Looking back at it now, I suppose it makes a lot of sense with how my ideal aesthetic for life was born. I enjoyed things with a hint of darkness, and it carried on to most aspects of my life. For example, if you knew me back in high school and came upon my Tumblr, then you’d know for a fact that I love the appeal of disposable cameras more than any other style there is. I remembered a time where my Tumblr was mostly reblogs of other people’s disposables, even if I had no idea who they were or what the context was; all I knew was that I loved how they looked—high contrast, deep shadows, harsh flash, and a hazy glaze that made any memory look that much more picturesque. 

Something about it also seemed so genuine to me, so commonplace, so minimally touched yet so filled with character. This thought process is also why I have a mild obsession with Winona Ryder, our favorite cigarette-guzzling actress from classic cult-hit films like Beetlejuice (1988) or Girl, Interrupted (1999). I find that even the very air around her exudes this kind of effortlessly cool energy, especially during the 90’s with her bolstering of the relaxed yet iconic trend of androgyny chic. It’s precisely this aspect that I feel encapsulates the kind of person I want to be—understated and unassuming, dark and muted, yet with its own distinctive traits that bring intrigue to those with interest.

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Of denim and leather

That said, my sense of style would naturally follow a similar line of thinking. To say it simply, I love subtly, but with a twist. 

I’ve been finding my ideal style drifting towards the calm, yet less conventional; think items that are not so outlandish that they become difficult to pair, but are decorated enough to draw the eyes in. I’ve been obsessed with things like mesh sleeves and printed tops and unorthodox pants, but, through my perusal of accessible stores, I have been having a hard time either coming to terms with the prices of similar street style items or finding more affordable pieces that exude the same unique feel. My fondness for soft-pedalled peculiarity is definitely a tricky style to perfect, especially when I haven’t even the faintest idea of where to start, but it’s where I know my future will lead me. 

As I lament the fact that I haven’t fully achieved my ideal wardrobe, you’ll probably still catch me clad in either of my two favorite and indispensable pieces: a trusty pair of five-year-old ripped jeans and a leather jacket that is much too impractical to wear in the Philippine heat but I bring along anyway. It’s still a very, very long journey into the world of off-center apparel, but I bask in the knowledge that I’ve slowly graduated from my teenage wardrobe of endless black band tees and a beat up pair of classic white Chuck Taylors (which I still wear to this day, but don’t judge me for it) into a more diverse set of clothes.

Even so, my style is still very much relaxed. I think the main reason for it is because I’m generally very simple when it comes to clothes, and I tend not to shop unless I definitely need to. Even then, I would always hesitate, wondering obsessively if I could wear it over and over again for the course of at least the next three years. If I deemed that I could, only then would I have bought it. 

Now, I have never and will never claim to be a fashionista, as I tend to cycle through the same five outfits without realizing it, but I do love to admire clothes. If I had my way and a much deeper wallet, then I’d love to spend it on more statement items, but alas, life was not that kind. If I could, I’d definitely buy items with louder details, like coats with gorgeous painted prints or denim jackets with neon tags coiled through them—articles that bring a little extra pizzazz to the more muted items underneath. I love clothes particularly with a tiny bit more personality than normal, giving them the ability to elevate an otherwise simple outfit into something that tells you that you didn’t even have to try to look stylish; you just are.

I will admit, though, that my obsession with K-Pop in the latter half of the past decade had played a big part in how I spiraled into the world of newer, more interesting styles. A lot of Korean fashion, especially their street wear, made me open up my sartorial horizons, giving me the drive to go after more courageous styles. It also greatly influenced how I like to do my makeup, from peachier tones and my newfound love for all things shimmery, though I haven’t quite let go of how much I adore a big, dramatic cat eye. 

There’s a lot more I could be saying, but I’ve just looked over the size of what I’ve already written and thought, “Sis, this needs to stop at some point.” Truth be told, when Jazz and I discussed writing our respective introductions, we only envisioned writing snippets. Maybe a few paragraphs, but definitely not anything of this length. If you’ve made it this far, I’d like to give you my thanks—for bearing with my stream of consciousness and learning a little more about me on your own volition.

I hope you stick around when we write up some more things, and hopefully our growth in both ourselves and our styles will bring a smile to your face. Or, at least, have you blow slightly more air out through your nostrils in amusement. 

See you soon!

💋 julia

A 23-year-old writer and content associate with an obsession for beauty and an ineffable love for all things sharp–from cacti to hedgehogs to intense winged liner.